


It should have been me

by ririsasy



Series: Ironstrange [1]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Cheating, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Home wrecker AU, Hurt Stephen Strange, Infidelity, Jealousy, M/M, One Shot, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 11:13:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19392952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ririsasy/pseuds/ririsasy
Summary: What if Tony and Stephen managed to defeat Thanos just like they have planned with the help of guardian of the galaxy but it takes them 6 months just to arrive on Titan and Tony and Stephen fall in love with each other on the way.





	1. Chapter 1

The way to Titan takes longer time than Tony, Stephen and Peter expected, they have been 3 months in spaces and Tony and Stephen has became closer and closer.

Tony had opened up about all his insecurities and Trauma he had to live with to the Doctor who surprisingly is a good listener. Tony had remembered that one time he tried to open up to Bruce and he had fallen a sleep during all of the heart-felt talk.

Tony had thought that Bruce might understand the complexity of his mind, from one Genius to the other, that’s why he is so not ready to fully express himself even to his own therapist because of this fear, they simply won’t be able to understand his brain, and here he has Stephen who is both Genius and a good listener, Tony keep opening the damn dam of emotion and he didn’t even realized it.

He had cried in front of the doctor without shame, sharing all the burden in his chest, his issues with his childhood, growing up as Howard kid wasn’t the easiest part, and his overall existential crisis and his role and that he should do more for people, gives more.

Stephen has been so understanding and listening to everything tentatively, the doctor also share about the cross he has to bear and how everything went down the hill before he could stand tall on the mountain again.

It’s the fifth month of their journey and Stephen had been cooking some alien food in the kitchen with Tony while peter had found a new hobby in the alien space ship labs.

Tony got some oil splash near his eye and Stephen is readily there to help him, preventing him for making more damage, holding his hand, and stand too close on his space, Tony has been mesmerized at the way the doctor had blow his burn carefully, then their eyes meet and the doctor had leaned down to capture his lips and Tony couldn’t find in himself that’s something wrong in their action because it just feels so right.

He had let the doctor deepening the kiss and Tony saw at the corner of his eyes that he also managed to turn off the stove, Tony had chuckled when they kiss and had let Stephen cornered him to the nearest wall.

“What if peter walk in?” That’s the only worry in Tony’s mind right now and nothing else, no pepper there, not their already plan wedding.

“Don’t worry, I can be quick” Stephen had said between his pant and grunt and almost frustrated groan.

And Tony had let him got his way with him right in that alien kitchen.

Tony had troubled sleeping that night, thinking what will he say to Pepper when they return back to earth about what he just did with the doctor.

Then he remember again, it’s almost Zero chance he could return home, this mad titan Thanos might kill all of them in Titan, he didn’t even know what’s waiting for them.

And the doctor who usually sleep in different room, had crawled to his bed that night, holding him from behind.

“Couldn’t sleep? Me neither, please let me hug you” and Tony gave in because it just a harmless embrace between friends who give comfort toward each other and nothing else.

But Tony had had nightmare that night as usual but Stephen was there to comfort him, whispering that he is safe and he will be there always to help him and stephen had kissed him again through his tears and Tony just want to let go of anything and let himself be taken care of, and Stephen done more than kissing after that.

And it keep going just like a routine, falling in the same bed, sharing the same room, peter start raising his eyebrows at them but never say anything.

They arrived on Titan, Defeated Thanos just as they planned with the help of Guardian of the galaxy and he had returned home.

Pepper had cried when they arrived on earth.

“Tony, oh Tony” and hug him tight in her embrace like she doesn’t want to let him go not for a second anymore.

And Stephen had watched them from a far, Tony had looked at him from the corner of his eye, expression unreadable and Tony hasn’t been more confused in his entire life about his feeling.


	2. Pick me

They have meeting with the press, explaining about the donut space ship appearance in new york and how the Iron man had gone almost the entire year after that along with the ship, some even suspected that the great Tony stark had gone forever, alien abduction and everything.

Bruce Banner had been there to explain what he knew about the mad Titan who had wicked plan to wipe out half of the universe and The guardian of the galaxy had been there as well to confirm about all of it because they came back to earth with Peter Quill’s space ship to bring Iron man and his team safe and sound back to their home planet.

Stephen had said that he could only open portal in the same planet because it’s impossible to squeeze space and time and open a portal through differrent planet, let alone galaxy so far away like Titan, so Peter had been the one to volunteer to take them back to earth with his ship and beside it’s been awhile since he come back home and see how missouri looks like now aday.

During the fight with Thanos, Tony had been hurt and Stephen had been there during the entire road to patch him up, tend his wound and make him all better again when they arrived on earth.

But Stephen refuse to come to press, and Thor also had been there to tell the press how the mad Titan had managed to kill many innocent asgardian lives and how he has hope that the earth could share a part of its uninhabited land for his people to live in.

So the world, even without having to experience the lost of half of its population still capable to understand from what kind of threat Iron man and his team had managed to save them from.

So they are cheered and applauded, the world is thankful for their avengers.

And Pepper had thrown a party for the return of the earth best defender in their malibu residence, Tony knows little about it, just nod along to whatever pepper says, beside, he spent almost his days now being nervous and giddy and unsure of what he should do or says to pepper.

Pepper has been the same Pepper he want to Marry a year ago, long before that even, but yet the sorcerer supreme has been the one who make a residence in his head since his return.

Of what they did together during their flight to Titan or what they did after that during their time back to earth, the doctor basically refuse to stay too far away from him the entire journey back home because he had been injured, he was the one who worry the most.

Maybe the only one who has any idea that Tony had that kind of relationship with the sorecerer supreme is Peter Parker, he had seen things he shouldn’t see and didn’t mean to see, but he knew.

So when Stephen shows up at the party, Tony didn’t even know how to behave or to react, his voice has betrayed him and he couldn’t look at the doctor in the eyes.

Pepper is intrigue to know more about the doctor but Tony had a hard time to explain to her who he really is, but thankfully peter is there to fill the blank enthusiastically, Stephen himself didn’t have much to say either, he is mostly just smiling and nodding along when Pepper keep asking him more and more question.

And Tony couldn’t stand to be there anymore, he feel nauseous, his head is throbbing like hell and he want to throw up, but he had managed to cover it up and pretend like he is alright, he excuse himself to Pepper, peter, Stephen for a while because he needs to go to the bathroom he said, he couldn’t be there, looking at Stephen sitting side by side with Pepper, his heart torn a part and it’s aching, it’s not fair for both of them, he is such a terrible man.

Stephen had followed him not so long after, had locked the bathroom door and Tony almost didn’t have time to react, staring at his reflection in the mirror after splashing cool water on his face and looking at stephen just right behind him.

They keep staring at each other and Tony has been the one who breaks first, his tears are streaming down his face and Stephen had looked at him through their reflection in the mirror.

Stephen hugged him from behind, burying his face in the crook of his neck, holding his shaking body from crying out loud now. Stephen himself also cries.

And then he kisses the side of his neck, he didn’t say anything and opening his pant and fuck him just right there, looking at his crying face through the mirror the entire time.

“I’ve missed you so much, why don’t you call me?” Stephen had said between his thrust and Tony braces himself to the cold side of the sink, holding tight till his knuckles turn white, watching himself to be fucked by another man in his house he lives with his soon to be wife, Pepper.

“Tony please, I need you, please choose me” and Tony let Stephen releases himself inside of him, didn’t say anything, because his head is in a mess, zipping his pants back, drying his face with a towel.

Coming out of the bathroom, leaving Stephen alone in the bathroom, joining back the party like nothing happen.

But Pepper had seen Stephen also coming out from the same bathroom, not long after Tony because she has been searching for them because it takes quite longer for Tony to be missing at his own party and many people want to meet and talk to him.

And Pepper had seen how red his husband eyes and puffy like he has been crying, maybe it’s one of his panic attack again, maybe the doctor has been there to comfort him.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony told Stephen that he couldn't break Pepper's heart like that, he couldn't tell her that his heart belongs to the sorcerer now.

Pepper wants them to go on with their wedding plan, she didn't want to waste another day without the mechanic beside her.

Pepper had dream about the perfect wedding for them and Tony just want to fulfill her dream that's all, he reasoned with Stephen, Tony said that Pepper didn't even actually believe about all of this wedding bullshit but since they start dating and Tony proposed to him, that's all she could talk about, about what kind of theme she want to have, once in a life time event she had called and Tony was shivering just thinking how broken she could be if he told her that the wedding is off because apparently he falls in love with a wizard from a bleecker street.

So he begged Stephen just to have this wedding for Pepper sake, after all in the end he will eventually choose Stephen because his heart belongs to the sorcerer now, if he wanted to make Pepper cried at least he already got the chance to make her happy first.

They will divorce Tony said and it will be less painful for her if the reason they break up because Tony would say that the marriage just didn't work out, he wants to be friend with Pepper and then maybe a year after that he can go public with Stephen without hurting Pepper.

That's the careful plan Tony had thought all by himself and Stephen couldn't do anything because really, he also didn't want to hurt Pepper, what if he was in her shoes, it must be painful as hell, so he nods and agree.

Even though Stephen had said that he agreed to fulfill Tony's wish just to see Pepper in his wedding dress but he was actually crying in distress in the sanctum with Wong who couldn't help but have to listen to his ramble.

"He let me fuck him when we were stranded in space but now he is back on earth and proceed with his wedding plan with Pepper still, what’s all the words he said that he couldn't live without me, he is a liar." 

Wong ever so patiently pats stephen on his back and offered him a water to drink, he knows what going on with the three of them and it's quite complicated, the business of this feelings, he didn't even know who to blame.

"Stop crying, Tony said that he loves you right? Have a little bit of faith in him, I don't even know if it's a good plan, it's complete nut if I must be honest but you chose this and you have to swallow the bitter pill first"

Stephen tried to stop his cry, after all, he is the asshole who would take Tony away later on.

"You are right. I just need to be patience, I can do this" Stephen smiles through his tears at his friend's words, Wong shouldn't even suppose to know about all of this but he just couldn't help it not to say anything about his feeling and his distress regarding his weird and unethical relationship he has with the mechanic, at first Wong was furious and then kinda understand his point of view, he said he didn't want to get involved and the three of them are adults, what ever happen they have to be ready for the consequences. 

They both attend the wedding, Wong and Stephen, even in their wedding day, Stephen couldn't hold himself not to be selfish, he cornered the groom to the nearest room and demand for a quickie.

Pepper was searching for Tony when everyone was ready and the clock is tickling with the priest already on his position.

Meanwhile in the nearest vacant Room Tony was busy moaning Stephen's name, his legs on the sorcerer waist telling him to go hurry and release him already because he needs to say his vow.

Stephen childishly prolong his release, fucking into Tony just one more thrust he said, holding his orgasm as long as he could but then Tony is coming all over him in his arm and he squeezes his length so good, moaning his name and Stephen couldn't escape from that sensation assaulted so he come inside his lover, spent and feeling dirty and freaking sad that he needs to let him go now.

Tony was rolling his eyes while fixing his hair, shirt and tuxedo but Stephen still stealing kisses to his cheek and neck here and there.

"stop being so clingy." Tony had scolds him jokingly but Stephen takes it to heart.

"Then why don’t you marry me?' He had asked weakly, not really sure about the future.

Tony went silent for awhile, gulping a hard lump in his throat.

"You know we will right? In the future?" He replied, he wants to believe it to be real then why it's so hard.

Tony giving him the last kiss and leave him alone in the room, hurrying himself to the altar, Stephen take a deep sigh, actually about to cry again, he feels like a fool and helpless beyond reason, his knees weak and he slump down on the floor, weeping like a broken man.

They keep meeting behind Pepper back after the wedding because it's so much easier when you have an affair with a wizard, he will pick you up just right inside your own house or even coming to your bedroom without no one noticing with his portal.

It's been a year and it's a time for the plan to finally settle in, Tony would say that he's married to his work and he didn't want to ignore Pepper or neglect her any longer, it's better for them if they just takes time a part, Pepper could find someone else better who could be there for her all the time.

But then Pepper had told Tony first that she's pregnant, with happy tears in her eyes, telling Tony that they can make it work even though Tony seems more distance after their wedding.

Pepper told him that it's common for early marriage to be hard like this because they need time to adjust.

Tony had smiled happily and also mixed with bitterness, he almost didn't even know how to react, he didn't want to be like Howard, not to be there for his kid.

Stephen was laughing histerically when Tony told him about the news.

"So you've fucked her without using any protection till she got all pregnant" Stephen said bitterly.

"Do you even want to go with your plan? Or you take me for a fool? Tony I can't be like this forever, be your secret lover only exist like a shadow, I want to take you out on Dinner without fearing Papparazi might see us, I want to walk under New york street light holding your hands! I am not just some fuck toys you enjoy in the bedroom!" And Tony had cried after their fight and Stephen leaving him all alone, wailing and throwing tantrums at no one but himself.

He didn't want to lose the sorcerer but Pepper is having his baby now and he didn't want not to be apart of the kid life.


	4. More lies

Tony doesn’t raise his head when Stephen portal right through his office door, the billionaire doesn’t heard the clicking sound of the door because he’s too focus on his reading and the only one who can enter his room without his permission is Pepper anyway so it was a big surprise for him when he look up and see Stephen instead.

“How do you get in?” Tony couldn’t hide his shock in his voice, Stephen can hear in his tone that he is not expected and welcomed.

“I walk pass your secretary, open a portal right in front of your room after knowing that you are all alone inside, what was his name again? Merry, and said that you are expecting me of course. Aren’t you?” Stepehen says mockingly, knowing Tony is deliberately avoiding him until he has to come to his office.

“What if you run into Pepper, what would you say?” Tony sigh heavily and close the hologram to his reading.

“Avengers business, need to talk to Iron man” Stephen answers shortly, he stands in front of the desk and look down at his lover.

“Why don’t you answer my call?” Stephen asks in exasperated tone, he doesn’t want to show that he is hurting by the treatment but he does.

“I am busy, I am dealing with this new client, more like helping them, it’s for a good cause and Pepper wants my opinion on it, that’s why I am at the office right now” Tony says, doesn’t dare to look up, he knows that Stephen is here not only because he doesn’t answer his call.

“Can we talk later? I have to be ready in thirty minutes, I promise I will talk to after this meeting” The mechanic raises his eyes and gaze at the doctor in front of him, he fold his hands on the table trying to reason with the man in front of him.

“Yeah, just like you promise me that you will divorce her this year, what about that, huh?” Stephen finally reveals his intention why he comes to the office, he points at the magazine on the desk, Tony and Pepper is on the cover, with a huge congratulations for their expecting baby and also for their vow renewal party.

“You think that I am a joke? You laugh at me, at my pride, again and again, I don’t even know why I still bother standing here” Stephen pierce dagger through his eyes, he is at the brink of letting out tears but he hold it in, doesn’t want to look that pathetic.

“It’s nothing, don’t be like a kid!” Tony pushed the tabloid from the table to the floor, he doesn’t like it when Stephen speaks like that about their relationship, like he is ready to end it all.

“We were in an interview and they asked that question and Pepper just answered about it that she’s pregnant and since it’s close to our wedding anniversary, they asked what she would like to do and she, spontaneously just said that she would like to renew our vow, because it’s romantic for her, she watched too much of that celebrity life, and would like to try it, I don’t have a say on it, It just there! We didn’t even discuss about it yet!” Tony is explaining himself while yelling at Stephen, doesn’t want to be the one that got all the blame.

“If it’s nothing why are you yelling? you want me to feel guilty, like this is all my fault to even question about this, don’t you know that I have a heart too? I think you forget about that part. You walk all over it without remorse, I don’t even know why I play myself like a giant clown” Stephen’s voice is shaky and he tries so hard not to drop a single tear, he look straight at his love that has his head down.

Tony raises his head suddenly and look into Stephen’s eyes, tears streaming down his face and stain his beautiful rosy cheeks. Stephen immediately feels the sting in his heart at the sight, he doesn’t like looking at him crying.

He walks around the table and stand beside Tony and wipes his tear with his thumb, Tony bites his lower lip to stop himself from crying out loud and it only makes it harder to contain himself when Stephen touches him with such gentleness despite him not deserving any of it.

“You know I love you with all my heart, but ..with the baby in Pepper’s womb, I just didn’t know what to do, I don’t want my kid to feel like I felt, didn’t have my parents full attention, I don’t know what I should do, don’t make me feel even more guilty for putting us in this situation, I don’t want to hurt anybody, but it seems like I already hurt all of you, Stephen, I am sorry” Tony keeps crying and his tears pool on Stephen’s palm.

“Hush, baby, I don’t like to see you cry, baby, baby, stop” Stephen wipes the tears that keep falling with the end of his sleeve, he kiss Tony’s cheek to try to lessen the sob but it only makes Tony shakes in his hands.

Stephen close their distance and kiss Tony on his lips, silencing the crying man and swallowing it to his own mouth, he stares into Tony’s eyes and keep Tony’s gaze firm toward him as well, he silently promise through his eyes that they will find away and he will not leave him but Tony struggles in his arms and push him away.

“You want to hurt me, you came here and want to hurt me, don’t pretend that you want the best for me” Tony pushes Stephen even harder away on his chest but Stephen keeps him firm in his arms.

“You know it’s not true! All of this pain, all of this uncertainty, I endure it for you, Tony, can’t you see? I am the one who is hurting” Stephen tighten his hold on Tony’s waist with only one hand and use his free hand to lift Tony’s chin.

“Stop saying it like that, you are hurting me, what do you want me to do, then? Run away with you and never see my kid again? You know Pepper will never allow me to meet my kid if she knew what happened between us. I can’t lost that, and I don’t want to loose you either, I am so selfish, I know” Tony is too tired of fighting so he surrendered and just let Stephen hold him, he lays his head on Stephen’s chest and let his tears soak the shirt wet.

“Tony, are you in there? Why do you lock the door, the meeting is in 10 minutes, you said you want to meet the client, open the door.” Pepper tried to push the door despite she knows it will not work because the card she put in front of the scanner is not working.

The two lovers break apart like they have been burn by fire to listen to that voice across the door, Stephen feels so stupid when he realized what he just did, he can’t even have his lover in his embrace in comfort without feeling like a thief.

“good thing, I lock the door with my magic” Stephen explain shortly, he looks at the mess around them and feels tempted to just leave it that way so Pepper can see it, but he doesn’t want Tony to feel even sadder and in distress upon creating more lies and false reason, so he fixes it with his magic, spotless like there’s nothing happen.

Tony takes the Kleenex on the the table and wipe his tears and blow his nose to that piece of tissue and throw it on the garbage can, he fixes his hairs and cough lightly before answering Pepper call.

“Tony, are you in there?” Pepper calls again, this time her voice is mix with worry.

Stephen moves to sit on the chair opposite Tony’s table and let his magic disappear from the door. Tony walks to the door to open it for Pepper while still fixing his tie, despite not doing anything with Stephen, he feels incredibly nervous when he open the door.

“Ah, yes, Pepper. I am sorry, emergency with the SHIELD problem and it’s confidential, the doctor is here to discuss about the threat with me,” Tony tries to steady his voice.

“The time for the meeting, I see, doctor, I will let Merry escorts you outside. I will need to leave you now.” Tony looks back to Stephen and then at Pepper ,trying to smile at them both.

“Doctor, I didn’t know you are here, I would like to catch up with you but we have meeting to attend. next time I hope,” Pepper smiles politely at Stephen as the sorcerer raises from his chair and walk toward the couple in front of the door.

“It’s fine, I understand, I am sorry for taking your time Mr. Stark, Mrs. Stark, until next time, then” Stephen walks a head of them and Tony feels chill in his heart looking at Stephen’s back, he almost let his tears fall again until he feels Pepper’s hand in his.

“Tony, are you alright? Your eyes are red and swollen.” Pepper tries to hold his cheek but Tony brushes her hands away.

“I am okay, don’t worry, just lack of sleep, let’s head to the meeting” Tony look up to search for Stephen again and but he is no where in sight anymore. Like he’s just vanish into the thin air, sometimes he wonder, will it be easier if he never meet the doctor? but the thought alone already makes him shiver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first thought about writing the continuation for this AU, It's even sadder than this in my head lol But when I write it down, I think it become a little bit more hopeful. So. Enjoy.


End file.
